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Poster:elcapitane
Date:2006-02-13 13:02
Subject:An oldie but a goodie
Security:Public

Actual text of an e-mail I just received:

"I tried to do some things on my computer several times, but I'm getting a message."

Could she be a little more vague??

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Poster:luminairex
Date:2005-12-12 03:36
Subject:
Security:Public

"You mean I can't put a DVD onto a CD?" ~ Computer science professor in our department (PhD)

*bangheaddesk*

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Poster:valiskeogh
Date:2005-04-01 12:44
Subject:Need your help peeps, or "would you like to participate?"
Security:Public

Hey guys, finally got around to doing what i've been SAYING i would do for a long long time.

HELP DESK HELL has been created, and is slowly filling with content as i write stuff, and edit some of my own recorded phone calls

Forums have just now been created, there is a page with several of my own phone calls, and creating more pages as we speak.

What i'd LOVE from you guys is either submitted stories, just like the ones you put on here which are always fabulous, or permission to use your lj entries (without your name of course or any identifying information) on the "luser stories" page. ALSO if you have the capability to record some of your phone calls, that would be GOLD. you can email the raw call to me and i'll edit out any identifying information myself (email addy's, names, isp or company names, passwords, etc) or you can edit those out and then email them to me. whichever floats your boat.

ALSO, if you have any resources you use consistently, you can email those to me and i'll incluse them on the "tech resources" page.

also feel free to join the forums and listen to the calls i have on there so far.

AND WOULD IT KILL YOU TO CLICK ON ONE OF THOSE GOOGLE AD LINKS??? seriously, cause i'm currently technically unemployed except for some of my online endeavors :)

Thanks guys, and stay tuned, i created the page to better facilitate YOU in demonstrating to people who ARENT techs' just how FUCKED UP some of the people you deal with are...

valis
(feel free to link to the site and all that jazz)

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Poster:elcapitane
Date:2005-02-15 08:55
Subject:Gotta love the really vague e-mail
Security:Public

Here is the entire text of the e-mail I just received from a doctor..

"Please provide technical support"

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Poster:elcapitane
Date:2004-12-07 12:30
Subject:
Security:Public

I posted up yesterday's Dilbert cartoon in my journal and a couple other communities, and today, seemingly if by some prophecy, this exact scene has repeated itself several times since I got into work today and found out I got stuck with Help Desk duty...
The Dilbert in questionCollapse )

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Poster:stephenbooth_uk
Date:2004-11-24 15:51
Subject:
Security:Public

Something I think we all (well, all who have been support techs anyway) can agree with: http://www.theregister.co.uk/2004/11/05/bofh_2004_episode_38/

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Poster:elcapitane
Date:2004-11-18 11:16
Subject:My brain hurts...
Security:Public

As a couple of you might know, there is this guy in my department *coughGarycough*, whose sole job seems to be making others lives miserable. In the past week alone, he has gone over the heads of his direct boss, our service chief, and the director of Medical Administration to try and get computers to automatically sign on to the system, and have the rights to access every patient in the database. The computers are (1) in a public, very easily accessible place. (2) chock full of confidential patient data. Even when everyone told him no, he kept neeping about wanting to do it.

Then there was the comment he made a few minutes ago. In the hospital, we have to grant access on a one-by-one basis for people to be able to visit web pages, and their supervisor has to sign off on it. A supervisor from Pathology gave us a list of some new night shift people who need to do medical research online, and *coughGarycough* commented they should go to the Hospital library if they needed to do research. The library is run only unto 4 PM in the day, after which is locked up tight, and all the computers in there are rigged to go to a single web page only, to say nothing about going to Google, WebMD, or going to medical journals or any other research. In addition, because the place is locked up, a police officer would have to come up, unlock the library, and stay with them the entire time they're there, since a lot of the books and equipment in there run several hundred bucks a piece. I replied, stating things to that effect, and also how it wasts the night shift people's time since they've gotta go down several floors and wait for the officer to come, which only ends up wasting everyone's time.

He makes my whole brain hurt, I swear!

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Poster:stephenbooth_uk
Date:2004-11-18 14:32
Subject:View from the other side
Security:Public

I'm considering writing to Scott Adams (author of "Dilbert") something about what happened to me today. I needed to raise a support call with Sun, so I called Sun. I gave them the serial number of the box and they looked up the support contract. Then they said that as the contract had been bought through SCC I'd have to raise the call through them then it would get passed to Sun. So I call SCC. SCC take my details then say that they can't act on the call unless it comes via our helpdesk. So I call our helpdesk who tell me to put it into an email and then they'll raise the call.

So I've had to write an email detailing the situation that our helpdesk will copy and paste into our helpdesk system and into an email to SCC who will then copy and paste the text into their helpdesk system and an email to Sun who will then copy and paste the text into their helpdesk system and phone me.

The purpose of the call? I need to download a package (SNMP agent installation package) and it seems to be missing from the web site so I need help finding it (often packages ont eh Sun web site are availabe to download but aren't linked so you need someone who knows the URL to give it to you so you can download it). I've actually called Sun twice today, the first time I was put through to pre-sales who told me to to hang up, call back and raise a support call.

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Poster:valiskeogh
Date:2004-10-07 01:09
Subject:here is the plan, you game?
Security:Public

here it is peeps.

i seriously dont think i'm going to have time in the near future to do what i've been planning on doing for nearly 6 months. so i'm throwing down the gauntlet to you people. maybe a colaborative effort?

just an idea throwing around, dont know if this will work, but here is the gist of it.

shortly after beginning my personal time in HELP DESK HELL, i bought the domain:


(right now, it's just redirected to the place i used to work for in my help desk hell, sshhhh... dont tell em... ;) )
and i have so much material to put on it... close to 200 REAL actual recorded phone calls for one...
but i really dont have the time or energy to fully develop a website for it.

so i'm opening the floor to ideas. HIT ME WITH SOME IDEAS DAMMIT.
a forum of course, i'm thinking more "layout" oriented.
of course when/if i get the site up, you are all MORE than welcome to contribute many many personal accounts and stories :)
so, discuss.

valis
(and please, no frontpage BS)

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Poster:stephenbooth_uk
Date:2004-08-26 17:34
Subject:
Security:Public

I've just been informed, by our internal IT services, that there's an email going around telling people to go to msupdate.com to get the latest windows patches. If you get the email, don't go there. It's a virus site. Apparently it's already trashed at least one machine here belonging to someone who thought he knew more than IT services (a project manager).

If you want the latest updates to Windows the you need to go to: http://windowsupdate.microsoft.com or got to http://www.microsoft.com/downloads and download them manually.

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Poster:riffraff
Date:2004-06-13 16:57
Subject:comp.sys.gateway.really-bad-attitude ...
Security:Public
Mood: infuriated

the first call is by another technician. don't mind his atrocious spelling, he got reamed by this jerk of a customer too, i feel for him.

the call i took is in the second lj-cut. note the eerily similar pattern the two calls have. almost like this guy gets his rocks off on abusing technicians. sad, really.

i should add that he is the first person i have said that i would hang up on for abuse, ever; he was by far the worst customer i have ever had. just why do i put up with this shit?

initial call:Collapse )

second call, new activity, created by yours truly:Collapse )

(crossposted to customers_suck, techsupport, and my journal)

edit: oh it gets BETTER. he called in FIVE MORE TIMES after he called me.
edit: because i am paranoid, i removed the customer's contact info from the post.

wow, just... wowCollapse )

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Poster:ophia921
Date:2004-06-02 11:43
Subject:
Security:Public
Mood: geeky

This was an email in our Abuse Queue today...it is entitled "hackers"


My firewall has picked up an id of "127.0.0.1" as a computer on our network
trying to hack my computer. This has been happening 4 or 5 times a day.

thank you



There's no place like 127.0.0.1 ;)

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Poster:valiskeogh
Date:2004-05-03 01:57
Subject:REAL INTERNET TECH SUPPORT CALLS!!!
Security:Public

yes yes yes people!!!
last friday, we had one of those events that happens... oh... once a month if we are lucky, twice a month if we aren't lucky, and every other day if we are in the BOWELS OF HELL WITH MAGGOTS EATING THE BURNING ROTTING SKIN FROM YOUR DECAYING CORPSE.

the event?
A TARD QUAKE !!!!
yes that's right children, a TARD QUAKE!! a tard quake happens at times, the epicenter is kinda hard to pinpoint, but basically waves of tardness wash out from wherever the epicenter is, and when a tard wave hits a tard, the tard does something tardish and calls me.
now generally, the tards occasionnally just kinda call on their own, when a tard QUAKE happens, they AAALLL CAAALLL ATTT OONNCCEEE.
we had a tard quake on friday.
all the tards in tennessee called me at once on friday. non freaking stop. each call was worse than the last. each one made me want to either laugh, or cry, or had me staring at the screen with my jaw on the desk in PURE WONDERMENT AT THE STUPIDTY AND INSANITY that i was witness to.
i have no fewer than 6 calls from friday night alone. SIX. i missed several good calls, occasionally i would get a call, hang up, and just lay back in my chair with my mind frozen. just frozen. the technotard has this unique ability to suck the life and intellect out of a person. before i had time to react, the next one would call me...
ANYWAY, enough with the bitching, here is ONE CALL from friday night that i HAD to share with you people. HAD TO SHARE.

CLICK HERE FOR ONE OF THE BEST CALLS EVER!!! ONLY 16 SECONDS LONG!!!
oh GOD this call had me just about on the FLOOR after i hung up... OH GOD GOD !!!!
ONLY SIXTEEN SECONDS LONG!!!
so you have NO EXCUSE not to listen to this excellent EXCELLENT phone call!

now a little explanation, it's NOT unusual for someone to call me up and say "is there anything wrong with the internet?" or "is the internet down?". not unusual at all. those have CEASED to be funny they are so freakin common. (i'll make some jokes about that later) generally when i say "no" or "not that i'm aware of" they CONTINUE with the actual reason they are calling, i.e. "i can't get my email", or "my computer wont let me connect" (like their computer is purposely NOT letting them connect cause it hates them, that one never ceases to get to me...)
however THIS call is exceptionally unusual, and damned funny, this guy asks me if there is anything wrong with the internet. i say no. he says... well... um... okay... bye... and i say BYE! hang up, and laugh my mother f'in AAASSS OFFF

sigh... good times....

valis
Typing Test:
Your score: 372 keys per minute ~ 74 words per minute
Ranking: That was fast - you can still improve, though.
Comparison: 23% of registered TyperA users using this language have typed a better result; 77% have a lower or equal result.
i still maintain that under normal circumstances i type faster than that, normal meaning not havnig to capitalize words. i NEVER capitalize words unless it's for emphasis, and when i miss capitalize a word at the beginning of the sentances on that test they count off for it... bastards...

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Poster:ophia921
Date:2004-04-06 12:06
Subject:
Security:Public
Mood: annoyed

I hate it when Im getting ready to go get lunch, and some stupid fucker calls up with an email problem. TO make matters worse, he forwards a copy of the mail he's getting back to our help queue from his fuckin hotmail account. So now instead of going to nourish myself, I must sit here and wait for his stupid email to show up in the help queue.

Just wanted to vent.

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Poster:ophia921
Date:2004-04-05 13:25
Subject:
Security:Public
Mood: amused

Currently AOL is blocking email from Iglou subscribers. I've gotten like a dozen phone calls and prolly half a dozen emails (to the help queue) about this problem. I just find it rather funny.

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Poster:valiskeogh
Date:2004-04-01 03:50
Subject:THE LOVE HOTEL IS A LIL OLE PLACE WHERE WE CAN GET TOGEETTTHAAAA!!
Security:Public

LOVE HOTEL!!!
BABY LOOOOVE HOTEL!!!!

yes kids, it's time for another internet tech support call from HHHEEELLL!!!

remember the love hotel i posted a transcript of a few days back?
well kiddies, here you go... and remember... i warned all of your sorry asses...

CMON BABY, COME ON DOWN TO THE LOOOOOVE HOTEL!/

CLICK above to hear the actual call , and proof i dont make this shit up...

valis
(xposted to help desk stories)

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Poster:ophia921
Date:2004-03-29 15:45
Subject:
Security:Public
Mood: annoyed

I just love when a customer calls up for tech support and then they say..."Can you hold on for a minute?". I just got one of thse lovely customers, who left me on hold for 3 minutes. I got tired of waiting, so I hung up. I'm sure she'll call back if its that important.

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Poster:trenthamfamily
Date:2004-03-24 21:17
Subject:
Security:Public

Read more...Collapse )

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Poster:trenthamfamily
Date:2004-03-24 21:17
Subject:
Security:Public

Sorry about putting the pictures up here directly (I just got a lesson on Internet etiquette!)...here are the links:

http://www.queenofwands.net/comics/20040324.gif

http://www.queenofwands.net/comics/20040322.jpg

Love that site though...www.queenofwands.net if you have time to check out the archived comics. Very well done!

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Poster:trenthamfamily
Date:2004-03-24 20:00
Subject:
Security:Public

Deleted...sorry, wrong group.

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